i always feel so alone. everyone i know has had atleast two bfs. me? none... i mean, i had one, but it was three years ago, and i hated him. i only went out with him because it was valentines day and i felt as i feel now, alone, jealous, wanting. We never talked to eachother, and when we did, all he wanted to talk about was why it was fun to do heroine. D< ugh! thats why i dumped him.
i was a loner, and he was a nerd/creep. not good mix...

all my friends keep suggesting ways i could look better, and theyre always having to do with something of makeup. makeup looks good on other people, but im extremely pail, and its hard to find makeup to mix with my tone. i dont like make up either, it just makes me breakout even more than i need, and it always either fades away within an hour, or smeers and makes me look like a clown, besides, i dont want a guy who likes me with makeup. i want him to know what i really look like. Whenever i tell my bff that, she always rolls her eyes and says, "whatever". it hurts. she has a bf and he loves her so dearly. the only other person i know who hasnt had a bf either is my step sister, but she hates guys and doesnt want a bf, so that doesnt help me.

i just want someone i can trust and who'll love me. All the guys i like think im uglier than shit.